Meredith,

I know exactly how you feel. As you very well know (you and Barbara Purks helped me through this), I felt very out-of-place in my chapter as a collegiate. I stayed in ZTA even though I had my misgivings about my own chapter. I soon graduated in December of 2003 and joined the Charlotte, NC chapter. Unfortunately, when it came to going to meetings, the directions that were given to the meeting locations were not very good. I ended up not going to the meetings because I didn't know where they were. This is when the abandonment feelings started to come into play.

I moved from the Charlotte, NC area because I knew no one and my collegiate chapter was only 30 minutes away but I couldn't go back because of all the hurt I experienced as a collegiate. No one wanted to meet and befriend a new person in the Charlotte, NC/Clover, SC area. I moved to the Greenville, SC area (which is where I am from) and I only received only 2 emails about being an alumna in one of the 2 Upstate Carolina alumnae groups. After the second email, I received nada for about 2 or 3 months and I tried contacting someone with no avail. I actually thought about desistering as an alumna because I thought ZTA didn't want me nor did they want my help or ideas. I thought, "My God, it's the same as an alumna as it is as a collegiate." My thoughts were that apparently the GA from my collegiate chapter had contacted someone around here and made it clear that I "wasn't a good ZTA" for the sheer fact that she didn't like me.

Fortunately, people started contacting me (even a ZTA from all the way in Alabama but moved to Greenville, SC). Meredith, please don't give up! Always have an open heart. Granted, there's more of a chance to experience hurt and disappointment but if we don't experience these things then how are we to continue learning? I think you're a great ZTA. I mean you helped me and didn't even know me. In fact, you've never met me and I still consider you not only a sister but a friend as well. As a friend and as a sister, please, remain a ZTA because I think you're a great asset to ZTA with your strong personality. ZTA needs more of us strong personalities. Otherwise, how does a sorority stand on its own without strong individuals? Personally, I don't know.