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I think based on most of the responses, alumni/ae participation (or lack thereof) is really dependent on the chapter's history or the rules set forth by HQ.
While I think it's awesome to hear other ADPi chapters invite their alums to their formals, I think if my home chapter were to randomly start inviting alums, it would probably be weird and they [alums] might be more apt to feeling out of place b/c it's not something that has been done (at least not in the past 4-5 years that I know of)
With the 2 national fraternities @ my first school, however, it is pretty much their chapter tradition to invite alums (and their guests) to join them (even if the alums paid for themselves and/or their date). The last formal I went to w/ my boyfriend, they had alums that were much older than he is (we're talking in the 40-50+ age range), but it had always been the chapter traditions to invite their alumni to their formal so they didn't feel weird or out of place.. they were just another one of the guys mingling with the brothers and having a good time. The same goes for the other fraternity on that campus.
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