[lifesaver]

OK, I was just thinking about this thread because yesterday becuase my brother-in-law's mother emailed me the following. Too perfect:

> > 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of
> > blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors
> > (half-frames too!), neck chain and large-print
> > editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living.
> >
> > 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and
> > watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of
> > perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with
> > hand-held fan and tiny tissues.
> >
> > 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels
> > shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy
> > tweezers and magnifying mirror.
> >
> > 4. Flabby Arms Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps
> > with these new, roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news
> > on the tummy front, two mu-muus with tummy-support
> > panels are included.
> >
> > 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in
> > stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's
> > dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice
> > stone and plasters, then slip on soft terry mules.
> >
> > 6. No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky
> > crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of Skin
> > Sparkle-Spackle, from Barbie's own line of exclusive
> > age-blasting cosmetics.
> >
> > 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a
> > cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie dusts
> > off her old high school megaphone to root for Babs and Ken, Jr.
> > Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white and
> > cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch.
> >
> > 8. Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken.
> > Barbie needs a change, and Alonzo (her personal trainer)
> > is just what the doctor ordered, along with Prozac. They're
> > hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa
> > Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking up is hard to do."
> >
> > 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with
> > Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat.
> >
> > 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally
> > caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve
> > Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to
> > meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book,
> > a six-pack of Diet Coke, and a pack of cigs.
> >
> > 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her
> > pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things,
> > and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the
> > couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with
> > Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In
> > Touch with Your Inner Self" is included.