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To answer your question: No. Not the Dean, nor anyone can tell you with whom you may or may not associate. If your fraternity wants to establish a chapter, the University is forbidden by law from interfering. Of course Universities interfere all the time, depending on the liklihood that students can be bullied and don't know their rights. The Freedom of Association Act was passed by Congress in 1996, primarily as a reaction against overbearing bullies who are college administrators. They cannot: prevent you from establishing a chapter, enforce "certification standards" on you, and your speech is absolutely protected. However...it's never a good idea to make enemies where none are wanted, so it's best to obey the law and be nice. Your civil rights attorney should meet with the University Counsel (not the Dean) and/or perhaps the University President. The Dean sounds like a self-important fop.
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