[Miami1839]

Thats some great advice. Your such a great writer. Its definitely important to take a step back sometimes and see where your at. I used to have to do that all the time when I worked at a group home a few years back with at risk kids. A very challenging job mentally in that way. I can see how sometimes how someone could get all caught up in the other person or have a hectic day and forget where your at. Where you might say something stupid and then regret it later. I mean I know we all have our bad days but then you just have to remember not to prey on others with it. Gauging yourself is definitely important.
Kevin




QUOTE]Originally posted by James
Be self aware enough to guage your mood . . .

When I find myself getting angry/ annoyed with a girlfriend, the first thing I do is mentally assess how tired, hungry, irritable, or how bad a day I had. Usually those factors conspire to make matters worse.

One of my first rules is to never take my bad moods out on other people, because they are not responsible for them!

And if I find myself tired and moody, which is kind of rare. I'll tell her in advance, "listen I had a really bad day, and am really irritable, its has nothing to do with you and it really means a lot to me to have you here now. Sorry I'm such a bore."

So there: Identify the sources of your emotions, don't victimize others with your bad moods, and communicate what you are feeling and that its not their fault. And communicate what they might be able to do to help you out. If you need a glass of wine and a back rub . . . mention it!

Because honestly, if you victimize your partner with undeserved anger or moodiness, even if they understand, it hurts them and weakens the quality of the relationship over time. [/QUOTE]