Carnation: You are right on the money. I couldn't agree with you more.
One thing I would like to add is this. Potential new members who get their second or third choice, while disappointed, often look upon it as a chance to be a part of a group in transition, take on important leadership roles, or to help build a bigger, better chapter. YOU might be just what these groups need to turn the corner!
In addition, once out of college most people find that the greater sisterhood transcends ABC sorority's reputation at XYZ University. I know this is certainly true for two of the smaller houses on my campus: they are in rebuilding periods here at Texas Tech, but they have outstanding national reputations. College is only four years, but sisterhood is lifelong. Those women who are members of these smaller groups are members of fantastic national groups--something they can be truly proud of for the rest of their lives.
That being said, I do not believe that any woman should join a sorority she does not like, does not believe in, or does not respect. To do so would do both the potential new member and the would-be sorority a disservice.
Just my 2 cents...
Jen