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I wouldn't tell them that they need to lose weight. I would do things like... go to healthier restaurants with them, cook dinners that are healthier, stop having junk food around the house, say "I want to get in better shape and I'm going to start exercising, I think it will be a lot more tolerable, or even fun, if you'll exercise with me". Focus on a healthier lifestyle for the two of you rather than on her losing weight.
My weight has yo-yo'd all my life. I know when I'm out of control and I know when I'm doing good. I have dieted very successfully at times and I have lost tons of weight due to illness too. However, when I was trying very hard to get in shape while I was married, he would suddenly bring home donuts, Hostess products, candy, cookies, cakes, etc. and leave them on the kitchen counter at all times. I would ask him to keep them in his car or briefcase or at least get them out of my sight, but he wouldn't. He also started working too late for me to go to the gym. I was at my heaviest weight ever when he met me and married me. I weighed less during most of our marriage than I weighed the day we got married, but he complained about my weight all the time and then sabotaged things when I tried to lose weight. Our marriage counselor agreed with what Sandy said though. He said that my weight was mine, and that it was none of his business and that if he really loved me, it wouldn't matter how I changed physically.
I have a co-worker who is a real athlete, she swam competitively in college and does triathlons now. She's in great shape, but her husband rags on her about the stretch marks she acquired while pregnant with HIS TWO CHILDREN! If I were her, I'd slap the guy!
Yes, the pill or Depo can cause some slight weight gain. So can some illnesses.
Dee
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