WesternAlumn, what AChiOAlumna said!
What many dont realize and I have seen it many times, when a New Alum goes back for visits, they are closer to Active Chapter.
It may take several years to realize, I am not an Active, but an Alum and have different prioritys on how things are handled.
Not to be an ass, but how close were you and did you try to judge and places rules of the good old days on them?
Hell, I have been there and I was the founder and told it was none of my business.
I am still doing after 40 years.
Is there a Chapter near you that you can spend time with and be away from The Closeness of Your Chapter which may be the problem?