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This Week In The Stars
Aries (March 21–April 19): Astrologically speaking, Aries is associated with infancy as a life stage. You have a habit of screaming loudly and soiling your diapers when you don’t get what you want. This week, Jupiter is putting the kibosh on a cherished career goal. Like Marie Osmond, whose radio show, “Marie and Friends ,” was pulled from the airwaves, you could be barking up the wrong tree with a current project. There’s no need to give up Mormonism, however. Keep your faith strong. This is merely a temporary glitch on your personal radar.
Taurus (April 20-May 20): For months now, you’ve been asking yourself, “Did Kelly Clarkson really need to put out another album?” Alas, you have no control over record executives and their freaky decision-making process. Focus your energy on things you can directly oversee. A powerful moon placement is giving you an increased sense of determination. You’ll protest injustice and make a stand against things that are just plain wrong. If management insists on stocking Coke in office soda machines, you’ll host a rally for Pepsi drinkers. “Our voice must be heard!”
Gemini: (May 21-June 21): As Venus brings you some luscious Valentine’s Day vibes, you and your honey will be tighter than Beyoncé and Jay-Z. Although you can’t afford to smother your sweetheart in furs or shower him with bling, you’ll find your own way to express that special affection. Cook dinner from scratch, incorporating gourmet ingredients like sun-dried tomatoes, tapenade, and/or Devonshire cream. Break out a bottle of vino that isn’t labeled “Red Table Wine.” Think Shiraz, Merlot, or Cabernet. (And no, those are not the names of former Destiny’s Child members.)
Cancer (June 22-July 22): Lately, you’ve been drawn to the world of the supernatural. You were pleased when NBC picked up Patricia Arquette’s new show, Medium, for another season. You can’t get enough of this psychic’s crime-solving ways. And when you heard that Kelli Garner of Aviator is going to star in Autopsy, a horror film about friends trapped in a haunted hospital, you said, “Kewl.” Spooky Neptune is amping up the fright factor. It could be time to don a tinfoil hat to ward off those alien mind control rays.
Leo (July 23-August 22): The Super Bowl came and went. Big deal. The U.S. has admits that it can’t account for 9 billion dollars that it gave to Iraq. Yawn. And a new American Idol season is underway. Double decker yawn. A moon square has you feeling at odds with everything that is going on around you. You feel displaced, disgruntled, and disagreeable. That all-Twinkies diet isn’t helping. To perk up your life on the outside, clean out your insides. Try a fresh vegetable. Remember what they look like? And avoid anything in the Lunchables category.
Virgo (August 23-September 22): Mars is bringing you an intriguing opportunity. Nicole Ritchie is doing a print ads campaign for clothes and accessory designer Bongo. Pretty soon, you’ll have your own photo spread in a major magazine. And Tom Brokaw signed a two-book deal with Random House. Consider marketing your memoirs. “Confessions of a Germaphobe” could be a best-seller. (Yes, I know. Not all Virgos are neat and tidy. But as this Virgo can attest, they’d sure like to be.)
Libra (September 23-October 23): The wife of Brady Bunch star Barry Williams has filed for divorce. And cuties Orlando Bloom and Kate Bosworth have announced that they have split up. Sniff. Venus has you feeling extra sentimental about couples who are on the skids. “If only they had talked to Dr. Phil! I know they could have sorted out their issues.” Even if romances are crashing and burning around you, don’t let them sour you on love. The planets are propelling you in a happy, lusty direction, so enjoy this joy ride.
Scorpio (October 24-November 21): Certain things get your dander up. You think lip syncers should be tarred and feathered. You were the first to sign the petition at stopashlee.com, expressing your need for Ashley Simpson to stop singing NOW. And when Elton John blasted Madonna for being lip sync queen during her stage performances, you felt he had a point. A moon opposition has turned you into an inverse superhero: Mr. Crankypants. More steamed than a locomotive! Able to bitch at others in a single bound! He’s giving you the bird, he’s a pain, he’s Mr. Crankypants!
Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Complex projects which require coordination from several directions are starting to come together. Director Ron Howard convinced the French Ministry of Culture to allow him to film portions of The Da Vinci Code at the Louvre. And the U.N. has tapped Bill Clinton to become the point man for tsunami relief efforts in the U.S. Like these fellows, you’re approaching everything with a “Can do” attitude. The sun is helping you to see sunshine where others only see darkness. Spread your light and get going.
Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You worry that Martin Scorsese is going to get screwed out of a Best Director Oscar again. That darned Clint Eastwood. And you figure Annette Bening is long overdue for one, since she lost out to Hilary Swank in 2000 for Boys Don’t Cry. Saturn has you itching and scratching, wondering if justice will be done. Take heart from one success story. Virginia Madsen, long confined to B movie status, will soon costar with Harrison Ford in The Wrong Element. You go, Virginia!
Aquarius (January 20-February 18): 75-year-old golf legend Arnold Palmer recently got married for the second time, proving that it’s never too late for love. As Venus perks up those Valentine’s Day vibes, you could be thinking about getting hitched (or, at least, getting more hitched than you are right now.) Aquarians’ main requirement in a partner is that he or she be cool. You’re not into flash, you couldn’t care less about your honey’s bank balance, but you demand that your soulmate have a certain, special something. Someone in your immediate circle may well qualify.
Pisces (February 19-March 20): Diana Ross is launching a new makeup line with Mac called Beauty Icon. You wish that other older legends would be similarly honored. How about a Diane Keaton fashion line? You always loved her quirky apparel. And why hasn’t someone put together Lauren Bacall Special Editions hair products? This screen goddess has always been perfectly coiffed. As Venus and Jupiter do a two-step, you could put together winning a winning campaign or a highly-marketable gimmick. Trust your inspiration and go for it.
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