Agreed!
Is there any info we can give that would help? Only suggestion for the woman in the multi-cultural is to ask her how many fraternities would allow you to join in the first place.
I'm not saying that co-edness and non-mutual exclusivity are synomyms, but they might be to her...
As for your friend at the other school. See if you can get one of the brothers over there to talk to her one-on-one. that may help with some of it....
Randy