[norcalKAO]

Originally posted by AlphaPhiBubbles
Being a child development minor...and just someone extremley interested in the "betterment" of today's parents...I'm going to have to disagree with some of you about this time commitment thing. It's nice for women to think we can do it all nowadays (often because we have no other choice), meaning working full time, having a family, and having outside hobbies/activities to keep us happy, but just because some people may be forced into those situations because of socio-economic status or loss/absence of a spouse doesn't mean that it's an OK situation to raise children in. It sucks. It really does. Not speaking from personal experience because I'm 22 and have no children, but being in a sorority in college IS almost like having a full time job and the more time spent with your child/ren the BETTER. ESPECIALLY in the first 8 years of your child's life. I really can't emphasize this enough. If at least one parent didn't have to work full time in order for the family to stay financially stable, that would be an ideal situation for all families. Of course that is pretty unrealistic.

I might add that I guess I'm assuming we're talking about a single mother, because bringing a working, stable, supportive father into the picture changes things quite a bit.

This is completely off the subject but I had to reply to this because maybe due to your major you feel qualified to lecture and judge, however I’m sorry but I feel you’re lacking any sense of personal connection to the topic to understand what you’re saying. Not that I would understand it any better, given I don’t have children, but I have a friend whom at 17 was left with the responsibility of raising her older sisters 2 month old simply because her sister decided she didn’t want the responsibility, and every time I saw her changing a diaper, taking her to the park, teaching her how to walk, talk, and blowing us off at night because she had to put her to bed made me realize that she wasn’t doing that because she was forced to, or because it was the right thing to do, but because she loved & loves that little girl like she was her own, and for 3 years now I can honestly say I think she would do anything for that little girl to guarantee her a chance at a good life.

Which brings me to my second point, she was engaged, and this guy made enough money to support them for a lifetime, he loved the little girl like she was his own, and it was their choice to raise her, it never seemed forced on either of them, and to be honest I don’t know if I would be able to do that after seeing everything they went through if put in that situation; but she also chose to join the military not to have a career (or feel like she could "do it all"), but because she knew it would guarantee a future for them both independently, and although sadly last year her fiancée passed away, her veteran status is what’s helping her get her BS now, while both her family and his family help raise the little girl. I think it comes down to this, people with that kind of responsibility generally know what they should and shouldn’t do in life, but I think maybe the difference is whether or not the parent(s) have the support they need.

Nichole