Quote:
Originally posted by KSig RC
No one's really answering the other parts of the question, so I'll take a crack at it:
Really, you know your kids better than we do, so I'd suggest keeping a keen eye on them to see if they're exhibiting the 'downsides' of being spoiled. This will take a lot of work and probing - some of the most vicious issues caused are hard to spot. Here's some samples:
-lack of respect for money
-lack of understanding of budgeting and responsible spending
-difficulty in interpersonal relationships where money is either involved, or the monetary backgrounds are disparate (friends right now, coworkers and boyfriends as they get older) - think of sharing, handling less-fortunate friends, showing up others with possessions, etc
-generally misplaced feelings of entitlement (such as "why don't i get that? i deserve it, i've always gotten it before...")
We all know the stereotypes associated with the spoiled, but the reality is that the negative consequences are often far more subtle than we'd like to think, but carry the full burden in terms of the image they convey to others.
Many, many children grow up with a great deal of wealth but exhibit none of the stereotypical features of the spoiled brat as we usually see it. The key, as I see it, comes in exposing your children to a wide variety of things, making them think about issues and others on a deeper level, and most importantly setting a good example for them to follow regarding possessions and treatment/valuation of both things and other people. Keeping them well-rounded but still grounded allows you to have the joy of seeing your kids happy and provided for, while helping them grow up to be free of the bullshit that can be inbued by a carefree (and careless) life as a child.
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All good points. KR, I definitely understand where you're coming from; growing up money was a struggle for my family, so I'd like to think that I'll be able to give my kids anything they want/ask for.
There is the side Rob gave as well; having spent time in classrooms, even as young as preschool/toddler age, you can notice a subtle difference between those who get everything and those who don't.
It's difficult because your intentions are great, and I don't think you should worry terribly about it. I think, in some ways, most parents spoil their kids to some degree. You just don't want to go overboard with it.