Quote:
Originally posted by AlphaPhiBubbles
Being a child development minor...and just someone extremley interested in the "betterment" of today's parents...I'm going to have to disagree with some of you about this time commitment thing. It's nice for women to think we can do it all nowadays (often because we have no other choice), meaning working full time, having a family, and having outside hobbies/activities to keep us happy, but just because some people may be forced into those situations because of socio-economic status or loss/absence of a spouse doesn't mean that it's an OK situation to raise children in. It sucks. It really does. Not speaking from personal experience because I'm 22 and have no children, but being in a sorority in college IS almost like having a full time job and the more time spent with your child/ren the BETTER. ESPECIALLY in the first 8 years of your child's life. I really can't emphasize this enough. If at least one parent didn't have to work full time in order for the family to stay financially stable, that would be an ideal situation for all families. Of course that is pretty unrealistic.
I might add that I guess I'm assuming we're talking about a single mother, because bringing a working, stable, supportive father into the picture changes things quite a bit.
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I'm sorry I know I'm a little off topic but I just had to respond to this...
Your statements are some of the most judgemental and baseless comments I've heard on this board. Considering that you have no children and you're too young to have had a full time job for more than a summer, I find it really bizarre that you are lecturing people about how to live their lives, handle their jobs and raise their children. First, not every woman who works full time and has a child does it because she "forced" to do so because of "socio/economic status." Many women simply want to work!! I could never stay home and take care of a child because I need the stimulation of work. I enjoy going to work and whether I have a child with a man or not or whether I need the money or not, I will always work. Working is very personally satisfying and many people enjoy it and can balance it with having children. For me, if I had no job I would be bored and frustrated and would be a much worse mother. Second, my entire life I had a mother who worked full time and then some (sometimes as much as 60+ hours per week) and I never once felt that she was unavailable to me or that I was scarred for life in some way. I remember my mother always being there because she was the kind of woman who could make time for everything. I have an excellent close relationship with my mother, and I grew up to be a successful, well adjusted, normal person.
My secretary had her daughter at 15 and worked full time throughout her child's life. She did a great job raising her daughter. They have a great relationship and her daughter has grown to be a beautiful, talented, smart, and wonderful girl.
Maybe having one person stay at home would be optimal for YOU but that doesn't mean that is the only way to raise a child. Maybe you should look beyond your child development books (which have their own biases) and actually talk to some people who have done it or who have lived through it.
You have a very myopic view of how children should be raised and what is and is not going to "damage" them. You should recognize that there are lots of ways to raise a healthy child and that the two parent household with one breadwinner is not the "optimal" choice and doesn't work for everyone.