Quote:
Originally posted by James
Here is another angle to this question:
Is it responsible for people with uncontrolled problems to look for a relationship?
A lot of the quality of a relationship is determined by the people skills of the partners as well as . . . how they get along.
IF you have a condition that you are having problems geting a hold of, then you are likely to make your partner unhappy much more frequently than someone without those problems. I am generalizing of course.
So is it responsible for people with anxiety/depression disorders etc to want to date before they have absolutely mastered those conditions?
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I guess the question raised here is what constitutes "uncontrolled problems." I know people with severe, untreated depression or similar issues that have trouble in relationships because of it. But I also know people with intimacy issues, problems with control/power, rampant insecurity, or personality disorders (borderline, narcissistic), etc. -- and these people make their partners just as miserable as the ones in the above category even though they don't have a diagnosed "psychological problem."
So I think that EVERYONE should get their issues under control before they start seriously dating someone, whatever those issues might be. The thing about anxiety, depression or the like is that they are more easily identified than someone with control issues. A lot of people with control issues (or insecurity or intimacy issues or whatever) never realize that they have a problem. They're able to go through their relationships blaming their issues on other people. People with depression/anxiety are more likely to identify that they have a problem.
That said, busting out with "Hey I'm depressed and I cut myself and I tried to kill myself twice and I'm on three different anti-depressants" on the second date is never advised.
