[sphinxpoet]

Originally posted by AKA_Monet
However Phrat, you know that most women do not take the utterances of men seriously unless something is used to back it up, i.e. flowers, jewelry, etc... Especially if they have allowed themselves to be abused several times by men (if you want to call them that) that speak earnestly, but act nefariously...

Besides, I guess I do not see marriage as a contract. I see it as a "covenant" between a two people, just like God see His covenants... When we speak the language of covenents, then it adds a whole new understanding of our spiritual selves and we must enter into this relationship without trepidation...

Contractual marriages, IMHO, are just like contracts that are for very specific periods and for very specific needs...

(Yes, Rainman and Lovespell 6, I am now reading Dr. Chapman's book on Covenant Marriages, just an FYI)

So on that note, some of your points are well taken. One party needs to shoulder some of the risk. However, if one says he is walking with God, and acts that way in public, but says something different in private, then how can the other make an interpretation?

The fact is, single Black women must understand that as long as they "box" themselves in who they choose to date, they will stay single for the rest of their lives. Because really, Black men are not staying single... In fact, they are all outside of the box--running away from it... And if a Sistah wants a that sort of connection with a man, fine, it's her life, let her do whatever to it... Almost always, that's a bunch of bullisht. But, hey, to each his own...

But if Brotha wants to do that, he can do it and be alright for a bit... But from my viewpoint in life, many a brothaman hits the ground hard... And usually, it's Sistahgirl that's left with the billions of pieces that she must piece together to make some semblelances of a man... (Think what Auset had to do after Set killed Ausar)...

At any rate, that's just my opinion... From what I saw and the interactions I had with the young lady brothaman had got her to agree to being playing with, he's gonna be hitting the ground pretty hard in the near future, and he really ain't gonna have to many a sistah to help him up... But I could be wrong... Let's hope so...

Soror Monet I agree with everything you have said. However we must address both sides Men and Women we need to change the way we think of marriage as well. It is a covenant between 2 people blessed by approval with the Lord. Getting married is a blessing and we need to reinvest in teh blessing of marriage as a life long commitment. Nowadays it is easier to get divorced then get married in some states! I will agree with my soror about everything she stated above........