Quote:
Originally posted by sphinxpoet
My most wonderful Soror AKA_MONET 
I understand your stance but alas the reality is that it does take 2 to tango but as long as I do not give you indication that my actions do not contridict my statement then where is he in the wrong. Also I would say the same applies to women as well. If a woman does such an action and does not try to lead the man on to anything more than she has said then she is the right. I agree that this mysoginitic behavoir should not be tolerated however it is incumbant on the person that hears this not to enter into it. We(society) give men too much of an out! Period end of story. Any woman I date I want to fufill my spiritual needs and be wonderful like AKA_Monet! But of course as long as we raise our boys with work around contracts and then co-sign for them then  It does not look good.
Sphinxpoet
Loves AKA_Monet like the cool side of the pillow on a summer day!
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However Phrat, you know that most women do not take the utterances of men seriously unless something is used to back it up, i.e. flowers, jewelry, etc... Especially if they have allowed themselves to be abused several times by men (if you want to call them that) that speak earnestly, but act nefariously...
Besides, I guess I do not see marriage as a contract. I see it as a "covenant" between a two people, just like God see His covenants... When we speak the language of covenents, then it adds a whole new understanding of our spiritual selves and we must enter into this relationship without trepidation...
Contractual marriages, IMHO, are just like contracts that are for very
specific periods and for very
specific needs...
(Yes, Rainman and Lovespell 6, I am now reading Dr. Chapman's book on Covenant Marriages, just an FYI)
So on that note, some of your points are well taken. One party needs to shoulder some of the risk. However, if one says he is walking with God, and acts that way in public, but says something different in private, then how can the other make an interpretation?
The fact is, single Black women must understand that as long as they "box" themselves in who they choose to date, they will stay single for the rest of their lives. Because really, Black men are not staying single... In fact, they are all outside of the box--running away from it... And if a Sistah wants a that sort of connection with a man, fine, it's her life, let her do whatever to it... Almost always, that's a bunch of bullisht. But, hey, to each his own...
But if Brotha wants to do that, he can do it and be alright for a bit... But from my viewpoint in life, many a brothaman hits the ground hard... And usually, it's Sistahgirl that's left with the billions of pieces that she must piece together to make some semblelances of a man... (Think what Auset had to do after Set killed Ausar)...
At any rate, that's just my opinion... From what I saw and the interactions I had with the young lady brothaman had got her to agree to being playing with, he's gonna be hitting the ground pretty hard in the near future, and he really ain't gonna have to many a sistah to help him up... But I could be wrong... Let's hope so...