[AKA_Monet]

Sorors, SF's and fellow GC'ers,

I have no idea where to post my past weekend occurrence, there are so many threads dealing with this issue alone... But I decided to post it with my Sorors because I need some insight... How would you handle it? Especially for my Single Sorors... Read below:

This past weekend, my husband and I spent some time with my husband's close friend. My husband's friend is a wonderfully, handsome 40-something man who works for a very powerful computer company and has the most excellent job, which pays him very well...

He was previously married when he lived in Texas, but found his way where we currently reside at least 10 years ago or so... He was married to a sistah... But since his nasty divorce, he's been playing the field up here. And he says he NEVER wants to get married again... Moreover, he has been dealt a heavy blow in his life with extreme tragedy by losing his mother (cancer) and his grandmother (who raised him, due to cardiovascular disease), within an 8-10 year timespan. And he has not transcended beyond his grief... This wonderful human being needs much healing that only an "insightful and spiritual" (and in my personal opinion that only a sistah) can bring...

However, the sistahs up here... All I can say, as a non-native--they need hep... They think that they are all THAT... But they got ISSUES--baby's mama's drama, NO "BENEFITS" and little aspirations beyond what they can get outta any man... Most sistahs who do have "energy", leave the state, quickly. Most sistahs that relocate here, live here a bit, then leave... This place seems like a "way station" of beautiful landscape to escape and breathe for a bit, but only for a brief period of time--not to dedicate your lifelong journey here...

Well, the time spent with my husband's friend was nice, however, brothaman--who is also a member of one of the D5 fraternities, has now decided to "cross the street" to find comfort with non-black women... He has found himself a very nice young lady, from up north (foreign) who has much to offer him... And she's attractive. Fits the "stereotype" of arm jewelry, but is tired of "riding" on her looks and uses her brain exquisitely... Only problem I have with her is that "they" have decided to maintain their relationship for the last year, by driving 2-4 hours every other weekend, to spend time with each other... And since he emphatically NEVER wants to get married again, due to his last situation, he said he's not ready for the whole "marriage" thing--but he's ready for kids...

He's hit his "biological clock"... But he wants his cake and eat it too... Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free--goes the old adage with this situation... And I doubt many sistahs will go for his mentality...

I find it saddening that such a "fairly" decent man with a few "bumps" on his road of life, has given up on himself and putting a woman (any woman) thru the kinda BS he's shovelling to her... And poor thing, she just takes it in stride--and she isn't that young--she's 35...

What's your opinion?