Well, at least I'm starting to get some support...
amycat and veruca, thank you for saying what I was trying to say. Your posts were much more succinct and straightforward. amycat's rule of thumb is a pretty good one, and for good reasons. veruca is saying what I was trying to say from the start.
But heck, even when you're older, it can be tough. My mother started dating a man in his 50s when she was in her 40s. It was generally okay. They were in related fields, knew each other professionally, and were generally as well developed. Well, now my mom's in her early 50s and her boyfriend is in his 60s. He's ready to retire. He's completely burned out on his career and wants to move west and play golf all the time. She's burned out on hers (and actually just made a drastic career switch), but my brother just had a child, so she wants to spend the next ten or fifteen years watching her grandson grow up. So even 30 years down the line from what we're talking about here, it creates problems. Granted, they're not the same sort of problems (and not nearly as destructive), but amycat's rule of thumb still applies.
Miami... you say it's "wrong" for someone over 18 to date someone under 18, but /why/ is it wrong? What are your reasons? Saying "just because" or "it's illegal" isn't a reason. If you think about it for a while and go a few reasons deep (ie, think of the reasons for your reasons until you get to the true heart of the issue), I think you'll see that, at least as far as the early 20s are concerned, it's the same thing.
Or to go the other way... most everyone here is saying it's perfectly fine for a 20-year-old to date a 30-year-old. That's ten years! What's wrong with a 20-year-old dating a 14-year-old? That's only six years. On top of that, 14 is a copule of years past puberty for most people, and a lot of people have already started experimenting sexually by then, at least with kissing and flirting. So since age is just an arbitrary number, there should be no problem with a 14-year-old who feels she's way more mature and developed than everyone around her dating that cute 20-year-old college boy. I mean, he's in college! And he's so sweet! He buys her presents, picks her up at her middle school (since she can't drive, anyway), and is more on her level emotionally. It makes sense, doesn't it?
[This message has been edited by P7A77 (edited July 30, 2001).]