I dunno. It seems to me that people develop a lot between the ages of 19-24. Hell, I'm almost 28, and when I look back to how I was even a year ago, I'm surprised at how much I've grown. Of course, I always think I'm so well developed and mature every year, and every year I prove myself wrong.
But without a doubt being young AND in college is a time for tremendous personal growth. Do you want to spend that time with somebody who isn't on the same level as you emotionally? Regardless of how "mature" they are or how much they seem to get along with you, people who are significantly older just aren't in the same places in their lives. This shouldn't be seen as a BAD thing. In fact, one should wonder about those 30 year olds who AREN'T in a different place in their lives.
Just think back a few years. When you were 14 or 15, you probably saw very little wrong with dating a 19 or 20 year old. Not all of them, of course, but there were certain ones that caught your eye. Now that you're 19 or 20, can you really picture yourself with a 14 or 15 year old? Or think of your friends that are of your dating sex preference (ie, for you heterosexual woman, think of your heterosexual male friends). Would you really think it'd be okay for these people to date YOU when you were 14 or 15?
So of course NOW you think it's okay for you to date a 30-year-old, but when you're 30 you're going to think differently. You'll realize that if the 30 year old were well adjusted in life, that s/he wouldn't WANT to date someone your age, and that those who DO want to date someone your age have serious issues that are best kept away from impressionable young people.
When you're older... say 40 or 50... a 10 year age gap won't make much difference. There will still be differences, of course... for example, one person might be going through the joy of grandchildren while another is just dealing with teenagers in college... but at least they've gotten more of their life views settled.
Or if you want to think of it another way... if you're 21 and looking to date significantly older people, you're telling the world that you feel you've matured as much as you're going to. And that's a dangerous position to hold. Not only is it unversally wrong, but it keeps you from being open to all the experiences that are important when you're 21. So when you finally ARE 30, you'll still be stunted.
But at least then you can date 21-year-olds. You'll be on their level.
|