[aephi alum]

My husband and I didn't have to take a formal class, but we did meet a few times with the rabbi who officiated at our wedding.

I lurked on alt.wedding when we were planning our wedding, and this question came up every once in a while. A few people had good experiences with Pre-Cana and similar programs, but a lot of people considered it a waste of time that they would never have done if their church hadn't required it.

The "family planning" part of the program, at least for Pre-Cana, is very much the Catholic party line of "sex is only for procreation, the only acceptable form of birth control is abstinence, and since you're not married yet, you shouldn't be having sex." (If it's a weekend retreat, don't even think about sharing a room with your fiance!)

In defense of these programs... sometimes there are couples who haven't really fully discussed important matters like finances, kids, etc. These programs force those couples to take a good long look at those issues and think about whether they really are in agreement. One of the stories I read on alt.wedding was about a couple that attended a marriage prep class and concluded that they actually weren't compatible and called off the wedding. But, for those couples that have already discussed these issues and decided that they are on the same page, I can see where it would be boring/frustrating to have to rehash them again.