Congratulations, fool! You're the incompetent egotist.
Every office has one. You stride in on your first day with no useful skills, an inane smile on your face, and plans for a variety of team-building exercises, meetings, extra-curricular activities and staff days out, all designed to win you favour with the boss.
The problem is, everyone else hates you. You're loud, you're arrogant, you're dumber than management, and you insist on wearing really loud shirts to make yourself seem interesting. Even the IT manager is more socially aware - and the depressing thing is, you'll probably run the company in ten years.
If you don't get a pickaxe through your head first.
----Totally me.