LeslieEMU: I thought that was an excellent observation. Ask the question a little differently and you get a bit of the guys point of view . . . College has so many options of meeting girls, what if we settle down to early and miss a really great one? Also, a lot of times men are hypnotized by the idea of being with multiple women, so many times we are attracted physically to a girl, but there might not be an emotional attraction. I have been told by girls that often when they hook up there is a bit of an emotional attachment that almost always goes with it, even if small. So a girl might be bothered if she saw the guy she hooked up with hooking up with someone the next night. With guys this seems to happen less.
TinkerbellMTSU: Don't despair sweetie. There are plenty of guys into the mushy stuff, and you know by looking around that a lot of people are in committed relationships, even Greeks. However, it would be a little unfair to your guy friend to treat him like a surrogate boyfriend, and do the things with him you would do with a BF, without a physical component . . . wouldn't it? It would suck for him.
Remember: Women approach sex through intimacy. Men approach intimacy through sex. Subtle but important difference.
Hugs, backrubs, and mushy stuff like that will make you feel all glowy and pampered, but will send him running home in a complicated state of arrousal to have a cold shower
Assuming you are attractive to him
Kevin: I'm not saying to be mean. But there are gradients of nice. Most really nice guys I have met (and this is only a personal observation), that complain of a dearth of dating prospects because they are to nice, are not really what I consider nice, they are merely too concerned with what other people will think of them to risk saying or doing things that might anger, offend, or lead to someone liking them less.
But this seriously inhibits their behavior and doesn't allow them full expression, and people can sense it eventually, because its really not completely genuine.
The trick is to create and maintain a balance between a consistent ethic that allows you to be yourself in way that reflects well on you, and to be considerate of others wants and needs without having to give up your own. And when you find out how to balance that 100 percent of the time email me with the directions
AlphasigLana: You should have no trouble finding a boy like that because you aren't actually asking for very much
But at least you have taken the first step and are looking.
Meeting lots of people is such a gift! If you only hung out with two members of the opposite sex your entire life you would fall in love and marry one of them . . . which wouldn't be great odds for the happiest relationship. Sometimes its harder in college than out because there are so many more people to crush on and so many more for them to crush on also. With that many distractions its no wonder that often you'll like someone that will be liking someone else, and not noticing the person that is liking you.
[This message has been edited by James (edited August 04, 2001).]