I liked the bit on Last minute shoppers:
Quote:
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The closer to December 25, the more likely they will be to completely abandon their Secular Consumer lifestyle on the spot. If you are targeting these lost souls, be sure to bring a van so that you can take them back to your Church for counseling and emergency baptisms.
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now thats just a tad bit creepy, reminds me of flanders breaking open the emergeny baptism kit for the simpson kids