[newbie]

Originally posted by gammazetagrl:
hey newbie what's up???

nothing much going on here. just been busy w/ work n stuff. man, work is really tiring....anyway i need advice (again,lol) that's why i brought this back up. u know that blind date dude? well i finally went out w/ him on last week and sure, i had a great time and he was a nice guy and all, but he was just toooo nice. meaning he won't even disagree w/ me, its like he doesnt have his own opinions. sometimes he uses the same adjectives i have, like for example "the movie was alright" and he would say " yeah it was alright for me too"...i dunno, maybe im doing the comparing-to-the-ex thing coz im used to having friendly debates or at least lively discussions w/ my ex. i mean, its like, even if u agree w/ my opinion on the movie, at lesat say something else about it, ya know? my friends told him that i should at least give him a chance though and so we're going out again sometime this week, and i swear, if things don't change...then ill like move on. was i being unfair though?

by the way, have u talked to your boyfriend lately?

And then...my ex is on vacation right now in MN for two weeks. He goes visit this family which is friends with his family every summer. He drove there alone, and the thing is, the daughter of that family, has had a crush on him couple years ago and although back then my ex didn't like her that way, they remained like friends, and u know, a la Dawson's Creek, there's this kind of sexual tension/attraction whatever eveyrtime u guys see each other? So its safe to say that's the case. On my boyfriend's last night at work before leaving, he told me how excited he was to go on vacation , and also about seeing Tina. He even added "you have no idea how awesome that is". Yeah a**hole i think i do. uggghhh!!! im trying not to let it bother me at all as Im trying to move on but that lil comment of his pissed me off and got me really down. I guess u can say im still jealous...even though it's highly unlikely that my ex would come home w/ a long distance romance under his belt (he's gonna be gone for 2 wks anyway), what if something happens between him and her while he was over there? my friends just say i was being crazy...

Then i was so mad that I called nick (thenew guy) the very next day and that's how i made plans w/ him. now i know i am being unfair to nick too, but what's a girl to do?

Sorry this got too long....whatever advice u can give me, ill greatly appreciate it! xoxo

Hi Cami ! I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your email yet! *very embarrassed* You know sweetie, it's really VERY normal to feel this way, abot your blinddate and jealousy about your ex. But you know what, make sure you aren't totally trying to weed out your date's wrongs and ask yourself "am i being rational here? am i just thinking this b/c my ex wouldn't have done this? is this habit of my date's annoying for real or am i just afraid of dating someone who is not my ex?" however, cami, your statement about your date nick being annoying is true IMO - it is VERY annoying for me when a guy doesn't want to offend me and just agrees with whatever i say, and also says "yeah you are so right, i totally agree." i mean, that's fine if a person does, but i once went on a date with a guy who agreed with everything i said. now that gets annoying!!!!! but also cami, take into account that you just might be unintentaionlly trying to find the faults in nick, b/c maybe you're afraid to love someone again?? but from what you have said, it sounds like nick isn't what you're looking for - and i don't blame ya girl!!!

hmm about your ex...sweetie for now, just try to remember that you and your ex are in a very fragile stage right now - where both of you are probably playing a seesaw game of trying to make the other feel bad? am i right? i don't know, after i have gotten out of relationships in the past, each time i unknowingly play the seesaw game!! haha, i made that name up - see saw . but it totally feels like that! ya know what, it seems like mostly your ex is trying to make you feel jealous tho. if he ever says anything like that again, i think you should point it out and lightly, playfully ask, "so.......you're trying to make me jealous eh?" see what he says to that. i don't know if that's the best thing to say, but it prolly will open up honest communication between you two, which i think you guys need . ehhh - hopefully he will not do anything iwth tina - but keep in mind, that he might just come back and try to make you feel jealous again - he might even lie or white-lie about a "conquest" he had with her which might not have ever taken place - trust me, I know what i'm talking about here (from experience)

But what's most important is when he comes back be all casual and act normal. don't bring up tina unless he brings it up. show him that you don't care (even if you do). once you show him that his actions don't bother you anymore, he just might open up honest communication again. he also might stop being a dickhead bringing up comments like that!!!! and if he talks about tina and maybe a "conquest," be all casual and say "oh?" and then pretend you don't care. That's guaranteed to drive him nuts . hey, i think you need to give him a pice of revenge, which will make YOU feel better, and eventaully, your feelings for him and jealousy will subside!!!! hopefully this makes some sense , tell me if it does??? I'm always hear for ya girlie, and i'll reply to your original email soon too!!!!!

p.s. about my boyfriend.. oh he's still in baseball camp - he's coming home one day befre his birthday, July 21! I'm so excited, though it's still a long time away . We talk on the phone a lot though but I miss him...I've never been away from him for so long!