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Originally posted by trojangal
Help!!
Need some advice. Mr. trojangal and I have a 4 year old daughter and I wanted to get some parenting advice from those of you who are more experienced at parenting.
Our little girl is a smart girl..intelligent, but also a real smart butt. Lately, she has been hitting it pretty hard with backtalk, etc. Today at school, she misbehaved pretty much most of the day, and worst of all, laughed at her teacher. I was angry and also horrified. She will "smart back" to both of us..all this really seems to have happened in the last 2-3 weeks.
She doesn't want to listen, follow directions, etc, and really has an attitude. She knows the difference between being good and bad, and when asked why she does something "Just because...".
So..tonight I started some loss of privileges...no tv, toys, etc. Just dinner, bath, and bed.
My question: What are some good ways to deal with this? We're not crazy about spanking, but have done it a few times ( this usually gets her more fired up..)
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Trojangal...
I don't have kids but I have experience with kids...maybe I can help...
First I wonder if something has changed in the last 2-3 weeks in your daughter's environment...school changes? home changes? arguments between you and Mr. Trojangal? recent move? announcement of new baby? etc. If you can determine what's changed, you can address your daughter's needs and discuss this with her.
Second...taking away privileges is a good technique along with timeouts. Make sure the consequence matches the behavior. It wouldn't make sense to take away a doll she hasn't played with in a year. Give her the choice. Tell her "I need you to talk to me/teacher nicely. If you can't, then I will take away "X" for {designated time frame that she can understand}." Then she makes the choice. If she smarts off, you need to be consistent and follow through no matter how much she cries/complains/etc. Consistency is the key here.
You need to find privileges also that mean something to her. If there's a favorite toy, video, etc. that she likes to play with then she'll be more responsive to this than something she doesn't care about.
Hope this gives you some food for thought...