BuCutie,
There are spaces in good friendships where it can seem like the end--but it doesn't necessarily have to be.
My best friend and I have been best friends since Sophomore year in high school. We both went away to college--me in L.A., her in San Diego. She rushed and pledged freshman year and became involved at her school, I didn't rush but became involved in my school. Still it seemed like I was the only one making an effort at all.
Summer after freshman year we were both home and we did hang out, but she had less time for me.
I pledged Sophomore year and that took up some more of my time, but Jodi and I, while we never stopped being friends, we were definitely not as close in college and we were in high school.
So I finish school and move to San Diego (ok ok, i'll admit it, to be closer to my boyfriend)--Jodi still had a semester of school to go. I kept trying to see her, make plans but she was alaways unavailable. I'd see her in bars and she'd say hi, but that was about it. I gave up.
I moved back to L.A. a year later. A year after that Jodi moved to L.A. too. And that was when we started to become closer too. She was so focused on her boyfriend (now husband) in college, and didn't realize how shut out I felt. With a little time gone by, and a lot of maturity on both our parts, we were able to talk it out and are best friends again and forever.
Being able to have that time apart to develop other friendships and our own lives has definitely made us stronger indivudually and as friends. And having had time apart, we now know nothing can tear us apart again, nor do we ever want to grow apart again.
Jodi has been married for five years and is pregnant with her first baby. I am single. Our lives are very different right now, but we talk thru our fears, and that makes it all less scary.-Like in college I was the one who needed to be less possessive of our friendship and let her develop other friendships, now she's the one who needs to let me develop other friendships--having been in Jodi's shoes, I know how to not hurt her feelings, and Jodi knowing how I stuck by her all thru college (even when I wasn't calling, etc.) and still considered her a friend lets her know how much I cherish her and how noone can replace her but I do need some single, non-pregnant friends too.
Your friend made some silly choices, yes, but look at it in this light. She was making her own choices--for me and Jodi--we were so close that no one said my name without hers and vice versa--and we needed to find out who we were without the other to know that the friendship was worth keeping for a lifetime. This is a normal stage to go thru at your age. Call her, and tell her you miss her and your feelings are hurt. You have nothing to lose and a best friend to regain.
Good Luck!
Amy
[This message has been edited by amycat412 (edited July 12, 2001).]