bucutie, what a sad story. Hope my reply can give you a different view of your situation.
Friendships can be fragil. They are based on who you are at a moment in time. Sometimes one is needy and then it switches(like a teeter,totter). Your closeness was never challenged until you entered a new environment-college. I think everyone has a bit of possessiveness in them, and that's why you didn't like the luncheon. Were you feeling left out by your best friend or your new friend, or both? Maybe YOU gave her the strength to try to be a little more independant, but when she was, you didn't like it, but that's natural. At this point I'd ask do you think she changed OR did she use you?
You are right, you shouldn't have come home so much, that's when you really bond with other people. This year, try as hard as you can to stay there. Soooo many older friends say the more you come home the more you want to stay home! You don't want that!
So, here you are, you are thinking of all the great times you had and feel really bad.
Are you missing her or are you missing a best friend? I bet since it's been so long you are missing the closeness more than her.
This is blunt, but I think she slapped you in the face. To not call is to not care. You ARE a better friend than she is! Actually, she isn't acting like a friend at all.
Now comes a hard question. Is there anything besides what you wrote, that may have hurt her so much it broke the bond? Remember, this could be so tiny it might not matter to someone else. From the way you described her, she seemed pretty clingy and slightly depressed so any little thing could be magnified.
Now, what I would do. Treat the friendship like a photo in a frame. The two of you were important to each other once and that relationship is part of who you are now. It's time to take some new pictures with new friends. Start filling up the desk and the albums with new pictures-new memories. Sometimes you have to LET go before you CAN go forward. Don't hate her, love her for what she was to you, YOUR BEST FRIEND! You WILL find a new best friend, I promise. She may come back in your life like nothing happened. That's when you remember "Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet leaves on the heel that crushes it."
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