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Well, I have always felt that jeans are a no-no regardless of location, time of day, or caliber of perfromers. To me, it's a way of showing respect to the performers. I'm a dancer and I know I feel that way about my audience members. I also would personally never attend the theatre in anything less than a skirt/blouse combo, and usualy a dress - even the kid's dance recitals I attend. BUT, that's probably the artist in me.
So I would say given your situation, khakis and button down are fine, though I think you'd be best in the slacks/dress shirt option - and I'm sure your date would like that option, too!
Have fun!
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