HornyToad and SiPhi, I understand what you are both saying. SigPhi, I apologize if I came off as calling you an "asshole", that was not my intent. Fact of the matter is, e DON'T know if she was actually raped, or what occured the night of the alleged assault. And since the girl obviously didn't/has not reported this to the authorities, it's doubtful that anyone other than her and the guy involved will ever know what really went down. It's a case of he said/she said.
My post was in reference to the implications that she "deserved" it, and the automatic assumption that she cried rape b/c she was embarassed/wanted to get out of trouble, etc (and I'm not pointing fingers at anyone who made the implications, I'm just stating my opinion on the matter). I'm not denying that cases like this do happen. We've all seen them on the news, etc. But those represent a very small percentage of reported rape cases. Having worked in social services for what feels like a very long time (
), I am conditioned to believe victims until proven otherwise. And I admitidally do live in a bubble.
As far as her being at the fraternity house, and people responding that they went to fraternity parties in high school, I think it was just to prove the point that, whether or not it's right, it happens. Knowing what I know now, 10 years later, would I have gone to a fraternity party? Hell no. But I was young. I was dating a guy who I wanted to like me. All my friends were going. And I felt safe in the situation at the time. Maybe this girl was in similar circumstances. Maybe she just went along to be cool. Who knows? We know very little about this case, other than the limited information the mother provided. Should she have been allowed in? From a risk management stand point, HELL NO. But maybe no one knew she was underage. Maybe she had a fake ID. Not all schools have registered parties (I know mine didn't) and anyone, really, could roll in off the street.
And it IS scary. I remember hearing once (and this could have been an urban myth) that in certain states, a woman was not legally capable of giving consent after ONE alcoholic beverage. Whether or not this is true, I'm not sure, but it still does play on your mind. And I agree, it would be scary to be a guy and have that way on your mind. My only advice is to tread very, VERY carefully with girls you might be hooking up with.