Quote:
Originally posted by emeralds4kh
The men just aren't real anymore.
I would think with the whole HIV scare in the Af Am community that men would want to slow down/settle down too.
I just don't get it for real.
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The truly said part is most African Americans are not scared--enough--of HIV and really choose not to settle down for anyone or anything... Especially in the 14-34 year old age group--and the higher number can be put up with some people...
Most people do not want a monagomous (sp?) relationship for whatever reason.
It takes a very different person to want that kind of situation.
However, I do highly suggest you get "marriage education" about the expectations of a maritial relationship. There are several websites, such as John Gottman at the Gottman Institute and Real Relationships for those persons that want a Christian viewpoint... There is also Smart Marriages...
I really think that you may have some fantastical ideas of what a man is and there is a lack of what is realistic about finding a man. It isn't about lowering your standards--it is more about how you will live upto your standards as they are... Because it is about how much you ante up into the relationship and how independent you are already before you start...
I think you probably are independantly minded. I am unsure about your monetary situation. But since you said you have gone through the "ringer" with a foul relationship, what have you learned so that you can move on? (Don't tell me, just ponder the idea...)
You can PM me if you need to... I can help you further with more information if you'd like...