I hear you on the lifestyle thing. But something to keep in mind: a lot of people who are "living the life" are doing it on credit. Very few people actually have the money they're spending. I'm serious. Have you seen what the average credit card debt is in America? Its staggering. And 20somethings are leading the pack. So don't feel bad when your friends spend $100 on drinks every weekend. The next day you wake up with money in savings and they have a hangover and credit card debt.
As far as figuring out where to cut back, there are lots of little things and people here are giving good advice. Do you know how to make a chart in excel? If so, I recommend spelling out your monthly budget in there and seeing where its getting eaten up. Gas bill? Maybe you need more blankets. Eating out? Try appetizers. Rent? Get a roommate or move.
For the holidays I'm trying to be very smart about my gift buying. I'm making cookies and breads for people instead of buying stuff. When I do buy, its either heartfelt or inexpensive. Just today I was at a site that sold super cute plushie toys (
www.bedbuggs.com) for about $6. That covered most of the little kids in my family.
Hang in there!