Quote:
Originally posted by PhoenixAzul
Well, I was the one who initiated the action in this relationship. We have a 5 year age difference, and I definitely had to be aggressive to get him to consider me. But this is the one instance, the only instance, where I will not do the asking. I've always been the initiator, kissing, dating, etc etc. This is ONE TIME I want him to do this on his own. Plus my parents want him to ask for permission. My dad won't give him permission unless he has a ring...my dad proposed to my mom without a ring, and now he's totally against it...kinda odd.
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I think you are wise to follow your heart on this one. The shift that is likely to occur in your relationship when he is the one to do the asking (including his decision to talk to your parents) sounds like it is what you are ultimately looking for...or you would have already posed the question. Something is telling you NOT to do this, and it is probably a good idea to listen to that "something"...that tells you this is right for you.
The same is true about giving an "ultimatum". Of course, it is reasonable to set a time for yourself in one relationship before saying "okay...this is clearly not moving forward..." But at that point, it is probably wiser just to end the relationship and move on. After all, if he has to be told "your time is up...pick me or lose me" before making the decision, then, if he proposes after that, you may be faced with a very unsettling feeling of not knowing whether he proposed for the right reasons or simply because he was afraid to be alone.