[Marie]

I'm not really clear on how being able to hide being gay affects the equl rights argument. (Note: I'm not trying to argue or start anything. I'm just honestly asking what makes this difference special).
It seems to me that the whole point of the equal rights argument is that you wouldn't want to hide who you were. No matter how many gay men choose to hide their lifestyles, if one gay couple wants to show PDA and live together, and wear tightly fitted pants, and even dress up in drag one day of the week, shouldn't they still be granted those same equal rights that they were granted when they were pretending to be straight? (Not just marriage, but basic needs like: getting a job, or an apt, or a seat in a restaurant)
Also, many African Americans pass for white everyday(or at least receive the "fringe benefits" of being light skin). Although your race is documented somewhere, honestly in day to day life people judge you based on what they see, not what your birth certificate/driver's license says. Again, it may be the basic things like getting seated in a restaurant quicker, getting a cab, or even a 1st job interview that may be affected by skin color.
Lastly, I'm just wondering how this mindset might affect men who are on the downlow. Don't get me wrong, I know that no one on this board encourages that lifestyle and that pressures of society are no excuse for lying/cheating/having unsafe sex. But honestly, we're kind of saying "Equal rights are only enforced for those who have no choice about their situation and cannot at all blend themselves in with the mainstream". However, at the same time we say "If you're gay, then just be gay. Don't try to pretend to be straight while being dishonnest with and jeopardizing your female partner." It seems pretty difficult for someone to abide by both scenarios.

JMHO, Marie