Quote:
Originally posted by starang21
the problem that the author is facing is a surplus of individuals who can't get past the nature of her position or her achievements. the problem does not lie with her, so why should the author settle and introduce people in her life who can't get over the fact that they aren't as successful in their professional life as she is? it's a fact of life.
|
See, you've inverted the issues here - obviously the overriding problem is outside of her, and she should not be punished for being successful. I think all of us have agreed, however, that the unfortunate reality is that many men do carry this bizarre bias - and I'll go on record saying that this bias grows more widespread as you move into older segments of the American population.
So she shouldn't 'have to' settle, in the perfect-world sense of "have to" - however, it appears that she's actively seeking advice on how to obviate this egocentric male bias, and since she is being faced with such a surplus, where does she go from here?
It's sad that both the author and the woman in question are facing this dilemma, but I don't think the advice is misogynistic or negative in and of itself. The 'fact of life' does not come in your desire for her not to settle, but rather in the fact that this bias does exist, and she's going to either have to hold out for one that doesn't exhibit it (which is possible, as you and I have both stated) or find a way to cope. They appear to have chosen the latter - sad, but not necessarily a bad 'strategy' (even if we don't necessarily agree).
You're missing the key point here - when you say, "why should she have to settle?" and make the correct point that it's not really her fault, you are implying that these guys can somehow all the sudden not be biased or misguided in their views on successful women to change the situation. I just don't see these guys 'turning it off' like it's a light switch - it's a cultural bias, it will take generations to be eliminated. So I can't blame her for working around it as it were.
She
shouldn't have to settle - but she might have to. Sucks.
Also - while this is great conceptually, let's not discount the fact that she might just be a bitch . . . much like successful men can be unattractive when they're dicks about it, she might just be bad about her success. We don't know, so let's keep it hypothetical for now.