[valkyrie]

My parents are kind of the same way (well, my mom moreso than my dad). My mom was THRILLED when I had to move back home after college. THRILLED. Seriously, I felt like I was dumping her when I moved out about a year and a half after that. The day I moved, we had a big fight and she didn't even come to my apartment with me and my dad. She wasn't as manipulative as it sounds like your mom is being, though -- it sounds like your parents are so afraid of losing touch with you they're trying to destroy your confidence in yourself so you'll stay put. Don't let them!

The only thing I can really tell you is that I think you need to establish complete financial independence and get the hell out as soon as you can. I'm not saying that you should blow them off or not talk to them, but as long as you're paying your own bills and living on your own, they don't have any power over you, which is good because I think they're trying to misuse it. After the initial fuss died down, my relationship with my parents has been much better since I haven't lived with them because we don't have to deal with the stress of seeing each other every single day (lol, although now we see each other rarely since I moved 1000 miles away).