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Originally posted by ISUKappa
If what James posted is true about the guy going around telling how "freaky" this girl was in bed, then, in my opinion, he is admitting he was coherent as to what was going on and couldn't have been as drunk or messed up. If he is completely lying about the entire incident (meaning he was as drunk or messed up) then not only is he disrespecting this girl, he's also doing more harm to himself by saying what he's saying. I'll admit, I'll never fully understand how guys work, but why not just say "I was completely trashed and I don't really know what happened" and leave it at that.
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While I def agree with most of this point, and there's really little to no doubt the kid is a piece of crap (assuming the story is correct as told..), these arguments have little to do with the legal basis for rape.
I was playing devil's advocate here - garbage like "HE SHOULD BE RAPED TOO!" ignore a fundamental flaw in logic: if he was intoxicated as well, then by legal standard he was most likely 'raped' as well. Now, we can argue until we're blue in the face that the ramifications of this are different for males vs. females, but it is pretty weak to drop the things that alphaiota did.
It's a slippery slope, and that was my point - the kid's (douche-like) actions nonwithstanding.
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Originally posted by ISUKappa
Sincere or not, I think a letter of apology is helpful -- it makes the guy put into concrete words what happened and it can help alleviate the guilt felt by the girl (if she feels any). I know I would have appreciated a written letter of apology.
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I agree, and I disagree. A letter of apology seems like appeasement, while I generally prefer active methods of attempting to 'solve' the issue. I guess I would prefer some action to be taken that requires the dude to learn/improve, whether that be some sort of ridiculous "sensitivity training" or more likely some sort of 'scared straight' class. Who knows, but I greatly prefer active solutions to writing a letter.
Quote:
Originally posted by ISUKappa
Okay, so question for the men: If an incident like this occurred in your chapter house and you know what really happened (let's say the guy had been drinking but wasn't wasted, he knew what he was doing, the girl was incoherent and could not give consent at all), how would you deal with it? What would you like to see be done about it? What would help to lessen the chances of something like this happening again?
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It's hard to say - usually if it were 'that bad' then someone would pull the guy aside and say something, generally the president or VP of risk management. Essentially, we have both a reputation and legal standing to maintain, and if a guy is putting either at risk, he'd be facing some consequences, whether social, legal, or judicial. Honestly, though, I'd hope that it would never come to that; hopefully preventative measures would lessen that risk. I'd hope.