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Originally posted by Glitterkitty
people break vows all the time-especially in the arena of marriage and we're going to go psycho over a wife telling her husband a few sorority things. You can not simplify the whole world into "a vow is a vow"......no its not.
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Sorry, but I think it is pretty black and white. A vow is a vow. And breaking a promise is breaking a promise. And just because people break them all the time does not make it okay.
Sure, some vows are "more sacred" if you will, but if I can't honor the "little vows" (such as the one that I made when I was 19 to keep my Fraternity's secrets secret -- not that I consider that a "little" vow, but some might), then why should my wife think I'd do any better at honoring the "big" vows.
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Originally posted by Lovely_gurl
I just find nothing "really sad" about having the kind of bond and trust with your spouse that allows you to share everything with one another.
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What I find sad is the lack of respect in a marriage where one spouse feels the need or desire to pressure the other to break a promise. I'm reminded of the advice given to Ms. MysticCat and me in the homily at our wedding: May you have enough openness with each other that you would never mind having your mail read by the other and enough trust in each other that you would never want to read each other's mail.
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Originally posted by Lovely_gurl
I read this thread and was a little surprised by the reactions, given that the person in question was the husband of this sister. I guess to me, "the two shall become one" has a lot stronger meaning to me than the vows to my fraternity, and I do not consider anything that I share with my husband (or anything that others choose to share with their spouses) to be breaking a confidence, a vow, an oath, or any other honor code, as we have been joined together. While I don't presume to tell people what they should and should not reveal to their spouses, I just don't think it's reasonable to admonish those who choose to have no secrets.
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I really don't think that's what "the two shall become one" is all about. As someone pointed out above, you can believe that as a lawyer I don't share everything with my wife -- I have confidences that I'm legally and ethically (and morally) required to keep to myself. They're not pillow talk. Confidences from friends and family should be treated the same way.
Perhaps it's not so much that some vows are more sacred than others but that some secrets are more important marriage-wise than others. Of course, there are some secrets that will harm a marriage if kept -- GLO secrets ain't among them. If keeping one's vow to one's GLO regarding secrecy is going to hurt the marriage, then it's not secret that's really hurting the marriage -- it's the lack of respect.