Weddings involve two people: the bride and the groom....not just the bride. I feel that some Bridezillas forget this small piece of information. Since it's your brother's wedding also, he should have a say in who goes to the rehearsal dinner. It should've been a mutual decision between the two of them and since you're his sister then you should be on the guest list. It looks like she has taken over in planning the whole wedding. I think your brother needs to say something to her about this.
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ZTA
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