[mattpike]

i went to a rather backwoods school. if you got in trouble in class the teacher just got out the paddle and nailed you right there. up to three swats depending on the nature of the trouble. but there was this one time when it did get out of hand.

i had to enroll in this agriculture class, i grew up on a ranch and the last thing i wanted to deal with at school was more cattle and other animals. but all the guys took ag and all the girls took home economics. i didnt really like home ec but there were lots of girls and the teacher was hot, so it would be better than casterating a bunch of pigs for an hour.

i was bound and determined to get out of the class, at any cost, so i decided to just mess up alot in class and maybe i would be asked to withdrawl or something. i did stuff like put a little gas on my welding gloves so that when i began welding a small fire would erupt and i would look like a dumb a$$ that could do anything right. it was funny and more than anything i did it for jokes, but my greatest, and last screw up came in the middle of the semester.

i was complaining to the teacher that we go out and see everyone elses show pig and that he just ignores mine and i was starting to feel like he was playing favorites. well we drove all the way out to my house and when we got there i was like i keep him in the back. we went into the back yard and i had this cage that is actually a dog cage for my bird dogs that were in texas for the summer so the pin was all grown up with chest high grass and was obviously empty. the teacher walked up beside me and i said "oh my god the little bastard ran away"

he knew i was lying and he got rather pissed off. we all loaded up on the bus and as we were pulling out he missed a few gears and i made the comment if you cant find em grind em. when we got back he swatted me and i laughed then he got so mad he threw a chair at me and i said "oh you did it now" and ran out of the room to the principles office. he laughed at what i did and put me in nutrition. the home ec teacher didnt trust me with making food or running the oven so i just sat around and played on the internet and was the food tasting judge. it was the best class ever.