Quote:
Originally posted by James
She is not all that upset really. The event is kind of surreal because she doesn't remember much of it.
I was actually wondering if I made her more upset about than she would have been.
When I talked to her it was a day or two later and she was still really processing it.
I was kind of like . . . wtf? I kept getting more irritated the more I asked questions because it seemed the guy was out of line to say the least.
The story didn't come out as clearly as I wrote it. At first she was just relating it as a one night stand, it wasn't until more information came out and I asked more questions that the situation seemed inappropriate.
Her initial reaction was kind of, wow I had sex with a cute boy, I wish I could remember it. It might have been a good time.
What I was wondering is whether our experiences are not shaped to a certain degree by the reactions of the people around us.
Would she have thought the guy was as out of line as she ended up thinking had I not said anything? OR would she have just thought "my bad."
She was still in the processing mode after all.
I felt kind of bad after talking to her because I wondered if I had made a situation that would have rapidly faded into a more significant event.
Perhaps I should have been non-commital and been totally guided by her subdued reaction rather than perhaps making the situation of more importance than it needs to be.
|
You should not feel bad at all for making her think about what happened. As for the "surreal experience" - she was prolly in some sort of denial shock. You did the right thing by talking to her. Because if you hadn't this incident would have come up later in her life - just remembering more and more. It would've hit her eventually.
So, answering your question: she prolly would've felt "my bad" at first....then major guilt perhaps later on, then "wait a minute - this isn't right" po'd anger.
All you did was speed up the process in my opinion.
And I second the aephi alum when she said "What kind of sicko takes advantage of a girl who's semi-conscious??"