Finances factors into it of course.
I'm just a bit annoyed, because I'm a good closer. But in this case I really didn't have to be.
1) I can be proud of the fact that the brothers in our fraternity really do care about each other. We cared about the school and the community we were involved in and gave back to.
2) Although we have our fun we don't run a bar night every week or anything like that because not only is it not worth the risk, it's just not us. So no hardcore boozing or hazing here.
3) Grades were a big priority because we knew we were in college and one of the top colleges at that. We all helped other brothers because we knew sooner or later we'd need help ourselves.
4) After graduation, we all were successful. I mean seriously between law school, business school, med school, really lucrative jobs, etc. there wasn't much left to cover. So we had the results to show for it.
5) Finances. Dear parents money is never an issue for us with your son joining. We do make sure you know that this is a commitment. Something can be worked out.
You would think with all this said, the parents would sign off. But parents can have one-track minds for sure.
-Rudey
Quote:
Originally posted by DeltAlum
I think Rudey is right on target with how to handle the situation -- but perhaps for a different reason. A lot of people (like me) are concerned that their parents will be against their participation or won't want to spend the money (assuming the prospective pledge doesn't plan on paying himself). I think it's important for parents to understand not only the system, but the finances as well.
A couple of other comments -- first to the original thought. If parents are not Greek, they likely know nothing at all, or only the unfortunate things they read or hear about the system. The other thing is that for some parents, paying for a students Greek membership can be a strain. When I was an advisor, one of the biggest financial problems for the chapter was guys who pledged without telling their parents, and then couldn't pay the dues and initiation fee. We ended up with a "contract" that had to be signed by a parent for the younger pledges so they would know what their son was doing and how much it would cost.
Mrs. DA's situation was the same as many of yours, but with a major twist.
Her mom is an ADPi.
And she must have had a very hard experience with the sorority.
Her dad came from a farm family in which education was super important, but there was very little money, and it was the same in wife's family. He put all four of his kids through college (including one masters and one law degree) on a farm "salary." At one point, three of the four were in college at the same time.
They told Mrs. DA that if she pledged, she would never see another penny from them. They meant it. So, she didn't, although she did go thru rush just for the experience. Pi Phi, Chi-O and ADPi all wanted her. The day we met, I invited her to dinner, and she first said no because her family was sacrificing to pay for her room and board, and she didn't want to "waste" their money by not eating in the dorm -- believe it or not. She did change her mind that day, though.
Personally, since I was the first college student in my immediate family, nobody had any idea what the Greek System was about, although both my dad and grandfather were Masons. Since I had no intention of rushing, when I was personally invited and given a bid -- I just didn't say anything to anyone until I was home one weekend and my grandfather asked, "Is that some kind of fraternity pin," when he saw my pledge badge.
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