[DeltAlum]

I think Rudey is right on target with how to handle the situation -- but perhaps for a different reason. A lot of people (like me) are concerned that their parents will be against their participation or won't want to spend the money (assuming the prospective pledge doesn't plan on paying himself). I think it's important for parents to understand not only the system, but the finances as well.

A couple of other comments -- first to the original thought. If parents are not Greek, they likely know nothing at all, or only the unfortunate things they read or hear about the system. The other thing is that for some parents, paying for a students Greek membership can be a strain. When I was an advisor, one of the biggest financial problems for the chapter was guys who pledged without telling their parents, and then couldn't pay the dues and initiation fee. We ended up with a "contract" that had to be signed by a parent for the younger pledges so they would know what their son was doing and how much it would cost.

Mrs. DA's situation was the same as many of yours, but with a major twist.

Her mom is an ADPi.

And she must have had a very hard experience with the sorority.

Her dad came from a farm family in which education was super important, but there was very little money, and it was the same in wife's family. He put all four of his kids through college (including one masters and one law degree) on a farm "salary." At one point, three of the four were in college at the same time.

They told Mrs. DA that if she pledged, she would never see another penny from them. They meant it. So, she didn't, although she did go thru rush just for the experience. Pi Phi, Chi-O and ADPi all wanted her. The day we met, I invited her to dinner, and she first said no because her family was sacrificing to pay for her room and board, and she didn't want to "waste" their money by not eating in the dorm -- believe it or not. She did change her mind that day, though.

Personally, since I was the first college student in my immediate family, nobody had any idea what the Greek System was about, although both my dad and grandfather were Masons. Since I had no intention of rushing, when I was personally invited and given a bid -- I just didn't say anything to anyone until I was home one weekend and my grandfather asked, "Is that some kind of fraternity pin," when he saw my pledge badge.