Sista, there is really no way for me to discuss this without offending anyone and that is not my intention. Again, I will say that honorary membership is fine for female orgs. You do not have to defend it. My feeling for male orgs is that you don't ask people to join your org if they haven't sought membership and have not the time nor inclination to be initiated in the traditional manner, be they famous, noble, and/or influential.
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