Thank you Juniorgrrl for your words of comfort! I am hoping that soon I can e-mail you (remember how we had talked about that long time ago?
). I realize that the world has not ended--but for some reason, more than ever (more than the previous 2 deaths that I "experienced"), I just feel soo, so bitter about everything. I realize that fate has its reasons, and what occurs is usually for the best, in the long run. But I just feel so mad that he had to suffer so much, and it all resulted in death. I know I should just accept it and move on--but it is so hard!
Also--my mother told me on the phone that I should put all I have into studying for the SATs (which is this Sat.) and my finals (which are Thurs. and Fri.)--and do well for my Grandpa. I know that basically I only need to study for 6 crucial days--but right now, I just don't feel like it at all. I know that I should do it for my Grandpa--but my mind feels like it's in a different place altogether! Could you give me tips on how to get it all together? That is simply awesome that you got the lead role--I am so proud of you!!! I think you are a very strong woman--it's amazing, at 14, that you were able to channel that anger/sadness into winning the lead role for your father.
I think I just might write that letter
. Unfortunately--unless my father flies back, too--it will not get there in time for the funeral. Dad does not know yet if he can fly back or not (business), but I will write it anyway--and perhaps keep it in my diary
. Thank you so much for the idea, Juniorgrrl...it just might be what I need to remember my grandpa permanently! (I am scared, that, overtime, I will not remember how he looked, how his voice sounded, etc.) Sadly, I don't remember how my grandma's voice sounded
. Thank you again!
Also--thank you girls for letting me e-mail you...I just might next week, after all this finals/testing crap is over!
[This message has been edited by newbie (edited May 27, 2001).]