Newbie,
I am so sorry to hear of your grandfather's death. 7 years ago, when I was 14, my own father died very suddenly of a massive heart attack one morning.
Two days later I auditioned for, and won the lead in a play. It kept me distracted. I went between being crying and happy, depressed and distracted...but I eventually got through it. And I know you will too. Just keep focused more than ever now. The harder life fights, the harder you should fight back.
The best advice I can give is to just keep busy and not let your world end (even if it feels like it has). Cry when you need to - don't leave it all bottled up. I know I did and it hurt me in the long run.
Maybe you could try writing a letter to your grandfather? I know the night before my dad's funeral, I wrote him a letter that we buried with him. I don't remember one word of what it said, but I know that at the time, it was very helpful.
We'll never know why things happen. It doesn't seem fair at all. The best we can all do is have faith that it was for a reason, and not become bitter.
Once again, I am so very sorry to hear of this. I know you'll pull through. All of us here on GC are thinking about you and are keeping you in our prayers
