I have an elite group of aunts who always make it a point to comment on my weight gain since high school. A few years ago I finally had enough, so I outed them in front of the whole family at a large family gathering:

"Yeah well...at least *I* don't sleep with married men...at least *I'M* not a homewrecker!"

Yeah...busted. My mom, who constantly reminds the relatives that I am very sensitive about the weight subject, couldn't help but snicker and give me high fives.