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Ok, long post ahead. . . Here's the letter I just submitted to the editor of the Daily Princetonian and snail mailed to the university adminstrators. (I did include my full name, class year, and mailing address, which I'll obviously not include here.)
18 September 2004
Dear Editor,
So, Dean Deignan and President Tilghman think that Greek-letter organizations “prematurely narrow” students’ “circles of acquaintances and experiences” [Frosh cautioned against going Greek, September 16, 2004]. I’m curious–did incoming students and their parents also receive admonitions about joining Princeton’s athletic teams, singing groups, and religious or political organizations?
Freshmen, what a relief it must be to know that the University has claimed the sole right to narrow those circles for you by assigning you to a residential college!
As an alumna of both Princeton and Kappa Alpha Theta women’s fraternity, I’d like to disabuse our current adminstration of such notions.
Belonging to a Greek-letter organization does not remove you from the Princeton experience–it can involve you more fully into it, and into the world beyond FitzRandolph Gate. Far from narrowing their members’ social circles, fraternities and sororities offer the chance for friendship and support from members of all 4 undergraduate classes, all residential colleges, all departments of academic study, every imaginable creative and athletic discipline, as well as varied ethnicities, religions, and political beliefs. Greek letter organizations are often at their best at institutions like Princeton, where strength of academic purpose; ethnic, religious, political, and geographical diversity; and individual involvement in myriad interests and activities are the hallmark of the student body. I would argue that there is no other organization on campus that brings its members as much opportunity to experience the diversity of Princeton than a fraternity or sorority. Not narrowed to a particular philosophy, not focused on one talent, not limited to underclassmen or upperclassmen, not bounded by one academic area– Greek-letter organizations encompass them all, and through personal relationships, their members can experience them all.
It’s fine with Dean Deignan that Susie Freshman join a singing group that will consume her for four years in an incredibly tight-knit, exclusive, single-focus, and insanely small group of women, but the Dean will proactively encourage her NOT to even research Kappa Kappa Gamma or Delta Sigma Theta because she’ll be “limiting” her Princeton experience? (Let’s ignore the fact that most fraternities and sororities have multi-faceted membership programs which encompass academic success, community service, personal development, and leadership training as well as hundreds of thousands of dollars in scholarships and grants for undergraduates and graduates.) I must be getting old, because I just can’t see the logic. Forgive my cynicism, but I don’t think we’re hearing the real issue the administration has with fraternities and sororities. Is it the “not invented here” mentality that something which didn’t originate at Princeton and exists beyond it is not worthy?
Kappa Alpha Theta brought things to my Princeton experience for which I’m eternally grateful: some of my best friends (but not all of them); extremely challenging and rewarding leadership opportunities; close relationships with local alumnae advisers of all ages; and yes, some of the best memories and events of my four years at Old Nassau. Furthermore, as this year’s freshmen will learn in 4 short years, life does and must involve people and ideas and institutions outside of Princeton, New Jersey. Theta has done nothing but add to the benefits of my Princeton education. Moving across the country immediately after graduation, I found a large group of Thetas, alumnae from schools across the US and Canada and of all ages, welcoming me. I have held rewarding and challenging leadership positions within an international organization of over 150,000 women. I continue to learn and grow and benefit because of becoming a Theta at Princeton 15 years ago.
The Princeton I know and cherish was not in the business of saving her students from their own decisions. It makes me sad to think that is where she seems to be now. To be certain, students face many new situations and opportunities during their Princeton years. The process of making decisions and choices is arguably more important than the decisions and choices themselves. Even those choices which we would change in hindsight teach us more than we can gain from a classroom or lab. The Princeton of my youth allowed me to revel in, grapple with, deal with the consequences of, and ultimately learn from my own choices.
Had I allowed Princeton to decide for me that Theta was “too narrow” a social circle, I would not have met one of my best friends. We’re not in the same graduating class. She’s Jewish, I’m Catholic. She was an engineer, I studied art history. She lived in Butler (poor thing), and I in Mathey. Theta is the only thing that brought us together at Princeton and allowed us to get to know each other well, and my life would be less without having her in it. Nor would I have been challenged by the feminist, two years my senior, whose views I found remarkably radical (and which, surprisingly, are very close the views I have now). I would not have met the amazing women, from college undergrads to octogenarians, who have taught me, challenged me, supported me, and become cherished friends throughout my years of volunteering in the leadership of Kappa Alpha Theta since graduation.
Theta only added to my Princeton experience, and I am far from unique in that regard. I would sincerely encourage Dean Deignan, President Tilghman, and other members of the administration to educate themselves about the national and international Greek-letter organizations represented at Princeton–their aims, histories, spheres of influence–as well as the local histories of the Princeton chapters. I urge them to involve Princeton sorority alumnae and fraternity alumni in their research and discussions. I know they will be surprised both at our numbers and at the high regard we have for our organizations. Being a part of our organizations has enhanced the Princeton experience for most of us and has made our memories fonder–and our pockets deeper come Annual Giving season.
I, for one, will be considering supporting Theta with more dollars than Princeton come Annual Giving time. I’d rather support an organization that strives to empower her members, not make decisions for them.
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