[AKA_Monet]

I use to believe "love the one you're with..." and "let things just happen..." Then year after year, I found myself alone on "special days"--like birthdays, Christmases, New Year's Eves and Valentines Days... And year after year, I got older...

And it always seemed that all the guys I'd "hang out with" would abandon me right before those "special days"... Or do some chit to me that would not be cool...

Basically, let me put it to you this way: When I found myself 30-something years old, alone in the hospital and the guy I was "seeing" chose not to check in on me, I made the active decision to shift my understanding to what was important to me and desire to have a stable, maritial and meaningful relationship with a MAN...

So, for me with my then man I was seeing (who is now my husband), I had to have "The Talk" with an "ultimatum"--because my health and age could no longer could sustain the stress of bullisht games. And it pissed him off initially, but, I just could not allow myself to live for 6 months with somebody and not know what the "deal" was...

My cut off time was 3 months--then I actively decided to move on... Fortunately, I did not have to, this time--the last time... And I am happy...

But your situation may be different from mine as is everyone's elses...