[adpiucf]

Being a traditonal age college student is a very impressionable time, and I think, despite being taught a good set of values and having a strong sense of self, any well-socialized person is going to fall victim to group will at some point, and especially through the college years (when you are faced with important personal decisions).

Personally, I believe if your membership in any organization becomes a steady drain on you, then you are healthier as a person to cut ties with that negative influence. Life is too short. I think that if a challenge arises and you become unhappy, you should address the problem and attempt to fix it... but if that doesn't work, you owe it to your own continued personal happiness to leave. I don't feel that sorority membership is worthy of martyrdom. There are those who disagree with me on this one, and I respect that, but my goal as a collegian was to do well in school and enjoy my college experience.

I would equate staying in a toxic situation as just as much your fault for supporting and aiding as a co-dependent. If you were in an abusive relationship with an alcoholic boyfriend, and you'd made every effort to help him with no tangible results and he just continued with his toxic ways, then you would be helping him and yourself to leave until he woke up to his ways and got help.

Bottom line: if you're unhappy, you need to work out the problem to be happy again. And if an organization is doing things in such a way to alienate the majority of its contributors and members, enough people leaving will serve a red flag and wake-up call that something is not right.

ETA: Sometimes you join a club, a sorority, a religious place of worship, take a class, take a job, etc... that you think is right for you. Sometimes, it doesn't work out and you leave it behind, wiser and knowing better what you do want. I don't see any shame in that. Sometimes, it really is not the right fit, and you're better off going your separate ways after really doing a lot of introspection and involvement and communicating to work through it. I know I am very passionate on this topic, and it is more to do with my last job than anything else. I was there for 2 years, and it was not a good fit for me ... I feel like I did everything I could to assess the situation and stay with it, stick it out... but in the end, leaving was the right thing to do. So while I advocate doing your best to work things out when you're unhappy and not run away from a problem, you do also have to realize when the right thing to do is to ask yourself, "What makes me happy?" And if that means that your current unhappiness is temporary, you will weather through the storm. But above all, you must be true to yourself!