Quote:
Originally posted by Kimmie1913
I think the corporate space idea is dead on. The reality is we always want to be judge by the content of our character but we are judged more by the quality of our working relationships. We are penalized far too frequently for the lack of relationships with coworkers than I think we admit to our selves. It is not always about sucking up but when you have to fairly competitive choices, people are going to go with who they feel like they know, who they feel trusts them a little by letting them in. We as Black women want to go to work do our job and leave and that is not what will get you to the top.
I have a corporate space at work. I eat lunch with the Black women here who are my friends some of the time and with the white women who are my work associates at others. They know some of my hobbies and here some of the things I do on the weekend. My friends here know more. They rest get enough for them to feel like they know me with out me having to really let them know me. It is enough to sustain a non-work related conversation and it makes a big difference.
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Kimmie, I agree with what you're saying. However, a line is drawn when co-workers take it to another level. There's nothing wrong with me sharing with someone that my boyfriend and I went to the Poconos for the weekend, but that's not enough for some people. They want to know about the sex that was had. That's just totally inappropriate. As a black woman, I'll admit that I'm probably even more careful about what I discuss at work. We're already seen as oversexed, promiscuous, obnoxious, unintelligent, loud mouths and I feel it is my duty to not further perpetuate that stereotype. I'm also not naive enough to think that once I do let my guard down, that there's not somebody just waiting to take advantage of that.
I also want to clarify something else. For me, this isn't a black or white issue. Nosey, harrassing black employees are just as annoying as nosey, harrassing white ones and I treat them all the same. I really do enjoy most of my co-workers and have no problem chatting with them about trivial things. I've been in the corporate world long enough to know how to play the game. It's when people get comfortable and step outside of what is acceptable in the corporate world that is a problem. And as I said before, once you let them know a little about you, they want to know EVERYTHING about you. I think if you're a generally quiet, cordial person, interests are sparked even more and people are just DYING to learn more about you.
I don't mind going out with my co-workers every once in a while and I attend all the parties/dinners/functions that we have. I'm just not going to be the one going out for a beer after work 3 times a week. If that makes me an angry black woman, than so be it.